


Love is a Battlefield

by HkHk



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: A game of cat and mouse, F/F, F/M, Fang wants Light's love, Lightning is hard for Fang, Where no one wins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 04:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3433943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HkHk/pseuds/HkHk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's worth it, isn't it? Fighting for her. Don't let this pass you up." Serah looked at Lightning pleadingly. "Call her." </p><p>Lightning stared at the phone in Serah's hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm done." 

Lightning looked up from where she was pulling her boots on, finding Fang standing in all her naked glory. "What?" 

The huntress turned to look at her, her green eyes dark and serious. "I'm done with this. I..I can't do it anymore." Fang gestured to the hotel room they were in, the rumpled sheets and the clothes thrown about, evidence of last night's adventures. It was one of their numerous nights of passion, a night full of pleasure and hearty moans. To the soldier's somewhat confused mind, there wasn't any evidence that Fang was displeased about what they were doing. If anything, she was the driving force behind most of what happened last night. 

Seeing the confusion, Fang continued. "I'm not going to be your dirty little secret. It's over." 

Lightning finished zipping her boots up and stood. There was still that confused look on her face. "It's over?" Can she even do that? Fang sounded so sure that Lightning didn't know what she could say. This was her first...well first anything with another person. Even if she was the initiator of their many encounters. 

"Yea. I don't want to have sex with you anymore. "

Well that was a blow to the face. It wasn't as if she was bad. Was she? There was no way she was that bad if they were having sex many times. Unless Fang felt obligated and was faking it the entire time. Lightning felt her face color, whether out of rage or embarrassment she had no idea. "Do I get a say in this?" Lightning asked, as mildly as she could. 

"I dunno, do you think you do?" 

There was a trap somewhere, a trap that Lightning is going to walk into. Without a doubt. "Yeah. I'm a part of this too." Anger was easier to tap and control than fear, than sadness. But there was still a glimmer of hope, that she could salvage this. That Fang would still take her back. Even if what they had wasn't really anything except a lot of meaningless sex in hotel rooms. Really good sex. Or extremely really well acted sex. Why was Fang so confusing? 

Fang glanced at Lightning and then away. The silence was deafening. 

Lightning pawed and scrabbled for something, anything. She wasn't going to let this go, not this easily, not without a fight. She licked her lower lip. Fang was still ever so radiant, just standing there, naked and...open. Her long black hair tangled up in the world's most natural bed head. Lightning drank in Fang's long arms and torso, her breasts and the tightness of her abdomen. 

"Light..." The sound of Fang's voice, pained, halted Lightning's leering. "Can't we just be friends?" 

Lightning wanted to protest, shout to the ceilings that they were beyond friendship, beyond being a casual acquaintance. They had seen far too much of each other, spent so much time together, had sex a lot to be just friends. Even now she was fantasizing about Fang's ass. Or any part of Fang. Rather every part of Fang. Lightning's libido was reborn when Fang was introduced into her life. Frankly, fucking Fang just about ruined her for anyone else. Not that she was interested in anyone else. Fang was just...

Hurt. In pain. 

"Okay." Lightning said softly. She grabbed the holster of her gun blade. It took her two strides to get to the door, one hand on the handle. "I guess...I'll see you later then." It took all her strength to open the door and step outside. Even more to close it behind her. She walked away from....what was possibly the best thing in her life. The most beautiful woman she had ever seen, the strongest warrior....someone who could keep up with her and someone who understood the burden of what it meant to be an older sister. They were made for each other. They were very compatible.

Or it could all be a lie. Fang could have just been very agreeable and didn't want to upset her until it was too much. Until she couldn't bear it any longer. They were similar in that regard, people who bent over backwards for the people they love.....

Etro, she needed a drink. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lebreau placed the beer down in front of Lightning. "You sure you want another one?" She asked, quite concerned. This was the eighth beer. Normally she wouldn't see Lightning come into her bar, much less drink this much. 

"So uh...what's up? Anything you want to talk to me about?" Not like Lebreau could figure out exactly what sort of madness swirled in Lightning's mind. The woman could beat you to death with a walnut, not someone you'd want to piss off. But her bartender senses could suss out a mini storm cloud over the pink haired woman's head. That and anyone who stared at their drink that long was surely trying to figure out if the future was at the bottom of the glass. 

Lightning looked up and smiled thinly. "Do you think I'm an idiot?" 

".....umm..." Lebreau began to slowly back away, not at all certain what was going on. 

"I think I am." Lightning continued, "I'm a fool." 

Lebreau took in the redness of Lightning's cheeks, the way her speech was slurred. She was drunk. What a sight that was. Never had she seen the soldier so uninhibited. Whatever was chewing at her must be something. But what would make Lightning feel like she needed to drink? And to drink this much? Well, this wasn't her job. 

"Keep hold of that, I'm gonna get a professional." Lebreau fled for the safety of her bar. 

Ten minutes later, Serah walked into the bar, zeroing in on Lightning. By then, Lightning was on her thirteenth beer and it took both her and Lebreau to steer the inebriated soldier to her car. Then Serah half dragged and half walked Lightning to her house, depositing her onto the bed. She left a cup of water, an aspirin and a note for Lightning in the morning.


	2. Fang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fang thinks about how she got to where she was now and how it all spiraled out of control.

Well, that went....good, Fang though, as she put her clothes back on. Lightning had left without argument, without anything really. Fang wasn't sure how to take that. Should she be miffed that Light didn't disagree? That what they had, brief and exciting as it was, was simply just sex. It was sex without attachment, without feelings...It was toe curling full body orgasms that made Fang come back for more and more. 

"Hoo..." Fang rubbed her face with one hand, grabbing her spear with the other. 

She left the hotel and walked home, spear on her shoulder, her mind a million miles away. The Pulsian thought of how she got to this point. It was only a few months ago that Lightning jumped her. Well, not exactly jump. They were both drunk and apparently, drunk Lightning had no inhibitions. Honestly, Fang should had put her foot down and stopped it. Should have gotten Lightning into bed, burrito wrapped her and waited for her drunkenness to fade. But Fang wanted Lightning too. She found the woman very attractive despite her penchant to give problems a solid right hook. 

Fang didn't agree with most people's assumptions about Lightning. Most people generally knew nothing. Underneath the frigid blue eyes was a soft and warm center. Albeit one that was protected by mile high ice and spikes. A few months ago she would have never thought she'd get to know Lightning so intimately. Sure she may have fantasized about it, to see what would make the soldier squeal. Now she really knew. 

A smirk appeared on Fang's face as she walked. As it turns out Lightning can be very adorable and very dominant in bed. Fang was sure she had the unique pleasure that only a few people got to see, Lightning with her barriers down, vulnerable. 

A frown replaced her smirk. 

Lightning would change and not just put on clothes, the act of putting the clothes on symbolized her barriers coming back up. She would go from hot to cold and unapproachable. Fang couldn't take that. She couldn't switch herself on and off like that. How could Lightning do that? Act as if nothing happened? As if what they shared wasn't worth contemplating about. Not that Fang wanted cuddles and kisses, those are very nice admittedly, but she wanted more. More than what Lightning could give her. 

Which was why she stopped. Before it got too far along. Before she'd start regretting what she went along with. 

Part of this was her fault. She should have stopped Lightning. She should have stopped herself. 

But here they were. Back to the beginning. 

"Fang!" 

Vanille rushed out of the house and almost jumped up. Almost. She skidded to a stop before Fang, arms crossed across her chest. 

"I know, I know." Fang raised her hand to forestall any questions. "I'll go wash." 

The little ankle bitter had already sussed out what was going on. She always seemed to know who Fang was sleeping with. Doesn't matter how shushed up the matter was, Vanille could usually figure out by the end of the day. It just got all the more easier in the future, with Fang having eyes only for Lightning. It was hard to not admire her and her stubbornness. Or her ass. Or her long legs. 

Fang stripped in the bathroom and took a nice long shower. The tile felt ever so cool against her forehead. The shower didn't exactly help distract her from thinking of Lightning. Even if she told the soldier that it was over, her body certainly disagreed. She wanted Lightning physically and emotionally. Sure one night stands were great but when it became multiple nights, with the same person, it stopped being just sex. She never planned for it to get this far, to go along with Lightning's desires.

Hah, who was she kidding? 

Fang breathed out and turned the faucet off. She dried herself with a towel and grabbed some clothes. Then she headed down the stairs to the kitchen where Vanille was cooking up some food. She plopped down onto a chair, elbows resting on the table. "Smells good Vanille! Give me double of what you're getting." 

"In a few minutes! How was your day?" 

"Good." Fang cradled her head with her hands. "Broke up with Lightning." 

"Oh, did you---wait what!" 

"Well, not really broke up. We weren't exactly together. I guess I just put a halt to the awesome sex." 

"What?" Vanille's eyebrows crinkled. 

"Yah." 

"Hmmm." 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

"Nope." 

The following meal was conducted in semi silence, half way through before Vanille slammed the utensils down and glared at Fang. "Alright. Come on, fess up. Something is up. You couldn't have just walked away from that without any hurt feelings."

"It was just sex Vanille."

Vanille nodded in the manner that seemed to say she didn't believe in any of it. "Right." 

"Sure it was great but I wasn't...it wasn't enough, you know?" 

"You want Lightning for more than her body." Vanille interpreted. "But you're not sure if Lightning feels the same. And instead of talking to her you decided to end it and hope that she would miraculously and spontaneously ask you out? Despite you knowing that Lightning couldn't verbalize her feelings unless someone is getting punched out?"

Fang grunted. "I really know how to pick them, don't I?" 

"Yep." Her little sister beamed at her, eyes twinkling. "I think you're gonna be fine." 

At least someone thought so. She hadn't even broached the mixed up mess of feelings that she had for Lightning or the messy quasi relationship they had going. There was this ball of emotions that sat like a lump in her throat stopping her from speaking or voicing out her concerns. She didn't even know where to start.


	3. Conceal, don't feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lightning should really, Let It Go

"Who is Fang to you?" 

Lightning stared blankly at the woman. How Amador managed to spring this upon her, she really didn't know. One second she was delivering a packet of sensitive papers to sitting down on a chair, being questioned about her "feelings". 

Apparently after enduring a series of traumatic experiences, the leadership wanted to know if she was was "okay". As if battling gigantic monsters, getting a l'Cie brand, working with unusual people and all sorts of fantastical nonsense gave concern that Lightning may have a few screws loose. No one comes out of what she and her friends experienced unscathed. Not to mention, there were two Pulsians wandering around from the War of Transgression. Most people would have broken down and failed, the world would be destroyed, etc etc. 

Luckily, most people weren't Lightning. 

"I don't have to answer your questions." Lightning finally said, flatly. "My personal business is my own." 

The therapist smiled lightly. "I understand. You don't have to answer now. But it is a question that is more for you than for me."

Silently, Lightning regretted revealing that tiny tidbit. She had thought telling the other woman about her breakup would satisfy any inquiries. Instead it sent their conversation onto another level that Lightning did not want to go. She didn't want to talk about Fang to a stranger, or to anyone. Whatever happened, whatever they had was...over. It was over and the only thing to do was to carry on. 

They were still friends after all. 

But Lightning knew that she wanted more than friendship. She had gone through everything but asking Fang out and now it was too late. Fang had surely rejected any notion of romance and had probably moved on. Someone like Fang could get anyone she wanted. She didn't need some aloof soldier who didn't know a doomed relationship when it smacks her in the face. Before meeting Fang, Lightning could barely keep her own familial relationship. Serah. She had denounced her own sister, denied Serah's feelings for Snow and vowed to hunt her down. Hah, what sort of sister was she? That alone should be enough warning sings. 

Danger, danger, this person is incapable of being a decent human being. Do not date. 

"You seem...distracted. What are you thinking about?" 

Lightning shook her head. "Nothing." 

"Doesn't seem like nothing." The woman, a Dr. Mires, smiled gently. "I've read your psych evaluation, one that was dated a few years back." 

"What did it tell you?" 

"That you were a dedicated soldier, fully capable of leading others and a bit rough along the edges. Now, that wasn't the precise wording but I think it suits you. What you went through, what everyone in your group went through was certainly harrowing. It also changed you. You and I both know I'm not talking about the brand. The decisions you had to make, the battles that you overcome...all of that didn't have as much of an impact as losing Fang, did it?"

That was a lie, a bold faced lie. Losing Serah would have devastated her. Serah was her entire reason for existing, the reason she became Lightning and left Claire behind. 

But she didn't lose Serah, did she? Instead she gathered her courage, her resolve, and kept going. She fought monsters and got a rag tag group of idiots into a group that saved the world. Her relationship with Serah was repaired and in the end, what happened on that journey only strengthen who she was. Meeting Fang and the others had made her a better person. Her thoughts, despite her best efforts, drew back to Fang. Fang the Pulsian. Fang the amazing. Fang who understood what it meant to have one person be your entire world. 

They had connected slowly over the journey, Lightning had kept any feelings she had at bay, focusing on the mission. She admired Fang, everything about her, from the way she viewed the world to the way she fought. You couldn't help but get sucked in. She danced at that edge, between wanting to know Fang more and wanting to push her away when their journey ended. Months later, they were reunited and then there was that party. Lightning found her courage at the bottom of a liquor glass, the warmth and steady buzz had pushed away all doubts. 

Her mind flashed back to Fang on the bed, the defensive way she held herself, the finality of her words. That's what happens when you try to maintain a relationship based on sex. Like a bridge without any supports, it sags and breaks, slowly but surely dooming anyone foolish enough to cross it. What did she have? Memories of nights spent in bed? When did they stop talking to each other? Hanging out? Just being friends? When did it become one night stand after another? 

Lightning recalled, painfully, that she didn't even greet Fang properly that night. Instead pushing her up against the wall to have her wicked way with her. 

No wonder Fang ended it. 

This was all her fault. 

Proves to show, no matter how much wisdom she gained, she still knew nothing. 

"I didn't lose Fang." Lightning said finally. "You can't lose what you never had."


End file.
